Saturday, April 02, 2005

The sun and mindless babbles

So I saw the sun both today and yesterday. It was great. I walked P-nut today. It was awesome. She loved it. It was so warm outside I didnt' need my coat. Yea,

I'm still puzzled about Terri. I don't know her but I know someone JUST like her. The only difference is the woman I know is older and was born this way. Blind and deaf. But do we stop feeding her? She can not eat by herself. She has a special spoon that she holds onto and with 90% assistance she eats. If we just gave her the spoon and said, "K, if you want to live then go ahead and eat", she'd be dead. We take her to movies, to concerts, and other events. Michael Schiavo would think we were crazy I've decided. Because according to him, K has no hope, no sense of what's going on around her and should just die. Did you know that Hellen Keller said that she was happier before she knew how to communicate? She was at peace and life could not have been better. Then she figured out the sign for water and learned to interact with the rest of the human race. How sad is it that a woman who could not communicate with anyone was happier that way. This world is such a beautiful place... can't we work on making it more beautiful and not filling it with more Michael Schiavo's and the judiciary committee people? My faith leaves me with knowledge that these people WILL be judged... just not on our terms...So K, she listens to music too... even though she's deaf. But her face, it seems so peaceful when peaceful music is on. I hear that she responds to vibration at concerts and even to sound when she's near a speaker (not that anyone wouldn't - those things are so freakin' loud!!!).I just think about her and how if she was in the wrong hands she'd be starved to death. How sad.
On the other hand, Terri is lucky. She has left this earth... where hate and war exist - and is now in a better place. Someday some of us will join her. Others - I don't think will make it (but I won't be the one at the gate deciding :) )
I'm just still upset about that. And then the Pope.. ohhhh the pope. He's only 84 but I think he's done more in his life than some people's lives combined. What a great man he has been. I just hope that he is in the least amount of pain possible... if any at all.

And then there's my job. I am sick of it. Sick of pretending that I go in there enjoying my job. I think about quitting, telling my boss that I'm done. Telling everyone it's been nice to know them but my time there is well over due. Wishing that I was busy planning lessons and not planning the time to wake people up at 11:30 at night to go to the bathroom or change their depends/attends and wipe their behind. Those days need to be done. Finito!!!
That's it for now. I'ts 1am now and I have to be at work in 7 hours. I can't wait til 2pm. Then I get to spend the day with my handsome fiance!!! :) Now that sounds good! Can't wait to see him ;)

... I'm off to the nine :)

5 comments:

Kyle Wash said...

I'm going to try to make my point in the least bit offensive possible. So please take whatever I'm going to say, because I dont know completely what I'm going to say quite yet, take it with a grain of salt and know that I am a decent person, or at least that is what I tell myself.

Maybe I've spent too much time with machines and computers, but I can understand where you may have to just let someone go. To me, the point of life is to share it with someon close to you, and pass it on to the next generation, and also possibily contribute somehow to society and/or help others along the way. Maybe this person you are talking about(i'm sorry i dont follow the news)just wouldnt have found any of these things that I feel make life worth living or trying to live. Pherhaps it was better this way. Don't only think about the person who was put away, but think of the people's lives, time spent that would have been needed her entire life to keep her here.
We dont live in a friendly world, people with limited abilities have it rough enough, I can't imagine it worse for this girl that I've heard about. I wouldnt want to be her, thats for sure, and I know I wouldnt want to live like that(from what I've heard, I dont really watch TV)

Just simply consider, that pherhaps she and her family are/will be happier in the long run.

Oh if you want to debate over this bring it, I watch kung fu movies!

Sean said...

Christine, I admire your passion on subjects such as the whole Terri Shiavo scenario. I know that you hate your job, and it seems like it is a pointless/endless waste of time. But, I believe that everything happens for a reason. You may not know right now why you are "stuck" there. But, maybe in the future you will. I love you with all of my heart. -Sean

Xtine said...

I don't find your point of view offensive at all, Kyle. If I hadn't watched the news I probably would have taken your side. The thing is that the parents were fighting to keep her alive. The thing the news never told anyone was that Terri's "husband" found another woman like a year after Terri was in her vegitative state. He had kids with this other woman. And the chances that he just finally wanted to let Terrie go so he could get married to this other woman are high. He probably found Terri to just be baggage for him. It just felt so selfish, his decision. Terri in her vegitative state was responsive to things, She spoke from time to time and just couldn't feed herself. When her feeding tube was taken out she said verbally "I want to live" which means for stupid people "PUT THE FREAKIN TUBE BACK IN!!" But her asshole husband ignored that. He refused Terri's parents access to her bedside. So while he pulled the tube and starved his wife to death, Terri's own family could not be by her side to be with her as she passed onto a better life. I'm happy she is no longer suffering. Her family will suffer for a long time because of this. Knowing she died not wanting to die. Imagine my brother dying. (not that I want this but I'm just making an example.. maybe a bad one) Imagine my brother before that in the hospital with an irreversable condition where he was pretty much just living because of the feeding tube and he couldn't eat normally. Now his wife puts him in a hospice and restricts his visitors to only herself. I can't see my own brother. She claims that he didn't want to live like that. How the hell do I know? He never said that to me! She goes to court and the judge says "Pull the tube out... that's what he wanted" even thought it's never recorded that that is the case. Now my brother is dying, starving essentially because he is no longer eating. Of course he will die. And I can not be there to say good bye. How would you feel? That's why I'm so passionate about this. Because if it were me I'd be devistated. And I wouldn't get over it. It'd be something I'd cope with for a very long time. Death is such a hard thing for us as humans. I'm actually pretty good with it. It's a good thing I think. Who wants to be on this earth forever? But at the same tolken we, as humans, need to say good bye. Think about people who lose loved ones to things like a motorcycle acciden or car accident. They have a much harder time because they didn't get to say good bye. It's a part of the greiving process. And the worst part is that they COULD have said good bye - but her asshole husband wouldn't let them. How aweful. It must be a living hell for the Schindler family.

Xtine said...

Thank you, Sean. You're the best :) I love you too!

Anonymous said...

i dnt know much about helen keller or what happiness she had or didnt. All i know is that once i am in a vegetated state, pull my plug please. i knwo the freedoms of walking and talking and hearing and enjoying music and seeing movies. I love seeing a beautiful day and hearing voices.

Its hard for me to understand why a person would say keep me alive. once i am unable to experience this life in its fullest, please send me on to my next oint of existance. Lingering is not the solution.

and that shiavo dude will be judge for whatever his wrong doing. that i do agree